“Many
times it happens that we live our lives in chains and we never even
know we have the keys to our freedom, happiness and fulfillment”.
Relationships
are the platforms upon which many lives have either being changed or
chained, marred or made, and transformed or trapped. Finding the
ideal partner for a successful relationship is not really an easy
pick. The essence of getting it right with regards to the choice of a
partner should not be underestimated. Many people have lost their
lives while trying to keep a relationship, while some others have
been badly hurt, heartbroken, jilted, ruined and left in pitiable
state all in the name of dating people who they thought were beauty
only to discover they were beasts later on. They decided to feed with
the vulture than with an eagle. The big question you should be asking
yourself is: ‘Am I creeping with a vulture or soaring with an
eagle in my relationship?. When you date an eagle you will soar
high above the skies, but when you date a vulture you will be brought
down to the earth to creep and feed on carcass. The choice is yours.
WHEN
YOU DATE AN EAGLE YOU WILL SOAR HIGH ABOVE THE SKIES, BUT WHEN YOU
DATE THE VULTURE YOU WILL BE BROUGHT DOWN TO THE EARTH TO CREEP AND
FEED ON CARCASS. THE CHOICE IS YOURS.
KNOW
WHAT YOU WANT
One
major step to take when finding the right person to date has to do
with knowing what you want. American Author, Mathew Fryer advises:
“You can’t find what you want if you don’t know what you’re
looking for”. Undoubtedly, God has given us the power to will
and to do – which is the ability to choose what we want and the
things we love to do. We can choose where to live, whom to serve,
what we want to be and whom to be in a relationship with. But the
defining moments of our lives are shaped by the power of our choices.
Dating an eagle or a vulture is largely a function of our choice and
we must realize that we will live with whether it turns out good or
bad. Knowing what you want is the first step towards getting it.
There’s
an old, well-known African tale by Christopher Gregorowski in his
book: “Fly Eagle Fly” about an eagle that lived with chickens. At
a large mountainside there was an eagle nest with four large eagle
eggs inside. Suddenly, an earthquake rocked the mountain causing one
of the eggs to roll down to a chicken farm located in the valley
below. So, the chicken farmer found the egg and put it with his
chickens and soon the egg hatched. The young eagle grew up with all
other chickens and whatever they did, the eagle did. He thought he
was a chicken just like them. Since the chickens could only fly for a
short distance, the eagle also learnt to fly a short distance too.
He thought that was what he was supposed to do. So that was all that
he thought he could do. As a consequence, that was all he was able to
do.
One
day, the eagle saw a bird flying high above him. He was very
impressed.
“Who
is that?”, he asked the hens around him.
“That’s
the eagle, the king of the birds,” the hens told him. “He belongs
to the sky. We belong to the earth, we are just chickens”.
Each
time the eagle talked about his dreams, he was told it couldn’t be
done. That was what the eagle learned to believe. After time, the
eagle stopped dreaming and continued to live his life as a chicken.
So the eagle lived and died as a chicken, for that’s what he
thought.The story of the eagle is a clear picture of how many people
have suffered greatly because of relationship choices. They get
captivated by love and in the process tend to lose everything about
their lives. They become a fractured relic of bygone years for
failing to be decisive about what they really want in a relationship
partner. Obviously, the reality is that our life is a product of the
choices we make, and so it is with the outcome of our relationships.
In fact, research reveals that we all make about 30,000 decisions
borne out of the choice we make every single day of our lives. But it
is expedient we realize that 70% of our choices will either be
endured or enjoyed in the fullness of time. When it comes to choosing
the ideal person to date or be in a relationship we must avoid being
too sentimental or coerced into dating someone that won’t help us
soar high like an eagle.
70%
OF OUR CHOICES WILL EITHER BE ENDURED OR ENJOYED IN THE FULNESS OF
TIME.
WHY
YOU SHOULD DATE AN EAGLE
American
Author, John Fire Lame Deer once said, “In an eagle, there is all
the wisdom of the world”. This reveals that the eagle has a
specialness about itself that places it above all other animals in
the world. The qualities an eagle possesses make it to be
distinguished, loved and adored by all. So, if you really desire a
good relationship that will blossom into a successful union, then you
need to take to the heart the qualities of the eagle so that you can
soar above the skies.
Here
are the qualities of the eagle you need to look out for when choosing
the right person to date or in a relationship with:
THE
EAGLE HAS A STRONG VISION:
One
distinctive quality of the eagle is the ability to focus on something
no matter how far it is. When an eagle sights its prey, he narrows
his focus on it and sets out to it get it no matter the obstacles. It
will not move its focus from the prey until he grabs it. The same
quality is what you need to look out for in choosing the right person
to date. Find a person who has a great vision – a very clear mental
picture of a preferred and proposed future. I certainly believe no
relationship can stand the test of times without the picture of a
future. The Bible in Proverbs 29:18 says:
“Where
is no vision, the people perish…”
This
reveals that having a clear idea of what the relationship will be all
about and where it will be lead to are very important. Many people
fail to find vision and end up having nightmares. Leadership Expert,
John C. Maxwell once wrote: “The poorest man is not the man
without wealth, but the man without a vision”. You must clearly
understand that knowing where you are going to is as important as
knowing what you are getting into. The truth is that vision defines
both.
YOU
MUST CLEARLY UNDERSTAND THAT KNOWING WHERE YOU ARE GOING TO IS AS
IMPORTANT AS KNOWING WHAT YOU ARE GOING INTO. THE TRURTH IS VISION
DEFINES BOTH.
How
Can You Identify Someone Who Has A Great Vision:
i).
What Are The Person’s Long-Time Perspective: Dr. Edward
Banfield of Harvard concluded after more than fifty years of research
that “long-time perspective” is the most important
determinant of personal success in life. Banfield defined long-time
perspective as the “ability to think several years into the
future while making decisions in the present”. This is one of
the most important discoveries ever made. This is also very crucial
in a relationship. Now think, does the person have good and
well-written down plans for the future? Is the person taking the
right decisions in the present that would make their plans to become
a reality? The Bible says in Habakuk 2:2-3(GNT):
“…write
the vision and make it plain on tablets…”
ii).
Are They Willing To Share And Involve You In Their Vision: The
product of every successful relationship is togetherness. The extent
to what a person is willing to reveal to you about their visions is a
clue to who you are in their lives. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes
4:9-10(GNT):
“Two
are better than one, because they have a good reward for their labor.
For if they fail, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him who
is alone when he falls, for he has no one to help him up”
Connect
and choose to date a person who is ready to reveal and involve you in
his/her visions.
iii)
Is the person showing a strong desire to succeed in life? : Desire
is the starting point of all great success. It is the longing or
craving for something at the expense of something else. What is the
person ready to sacrifice to have his or her vision a reality? Is the
person willing to be diligent in the pursuit of vision? The Bible
says in Proverbs 21:5(GNT):
“The
plans of the diligent lead surely to plenty...”
Ecclesiastes
5:3(GNT) also says: “For a dream comes through much
activity...”
How
far a person is ready to go in the pursuit of their
vision will reveal how far they are ready to go in creating a future
for both of you. Always remember, vision without action is a
nightmare, and action without vision is a daydream.
Another
quality of the eagle you must take note of when deciding whom to date
is the lifestyle and attitude of the person. The eagle flies
alone at high altitude different from that of other birds. It is
advisable you stay away from the vultures, ravens and sparrows kind
of people. Don’t condescend too low to date someone who will make
your life reckless than rosy. Remember, eagles fly with eagles. What
kind of association does the person keep? How does the person see and
portray himself/herself to be? What are their actions in public and
in private? These soul-searching questions can be useful in helping
us make the right decision about whom to be in a relationship with.
The Bible says in Matthew 5:16:
“Let
your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and
glorify your Father in heaven.”
Is
the person’s life giving glory to God ? Ponder on this!
Another
fact about the eagle is that it does not eat dead things. They feed
only on fresh prey. While vultures eat dead animals, eagles will
never. This is another notable characteristic to look out for in a
potential date. What do they feed their minds on? Do they feed on
outdated and obsolete information about the issues of life? What is
the person’s perceptions and actions towards personal hygiene? Or
do they fill and feed their minds with negative thoughts? Remember,
we are a product of what we feed on and think.
When
ready to lay eggs, both the female and male eagle identify a place
very high on a cliff where no predators can reach to attack the
eaglets after delivery. The male eagle sets thorns around the crevice
of the cliff where the young eagles are laid and then proceeds to
build a nest for protection and safety. Both the male and the female
eagles participate in raising a family. This quality is defined as
being proactive. This is a responsibility call. Is your potential
date scared or ready to take responsibilities? Is the person ready or
weary of the challenges of raising a family? Is the person
comfortable with allowing you both languish in sloth and not bothered
about pushing you both hard to learn, grow and prosper? If you can
observe both the actions and reactions of the person with regards to
these, then you’re sure of making the right choice for a
relationship.
A
tiny-veiled secret of the eagle is its ability to renew itself. When
the eagle grows old, its feathers become weak and cannot fly as fast
as it should, it retires to a place faraway in the rocks. While
there, he plucks out every feather on his body until it is completely
bare. He stays there until he grows new feathers and then comes out
renewed. To know if someone is right for you to date, then ask
yourself these questions: is the person ready to outgrow his/her old
habits? Is the person ready to build his/her capacities – learn,
unlearn and relearn?. Always have at the back of your mind that
capacity-building is the key to personal reinvention and
self-renewal.
CAPACITY-BUILDING
IS THE KEY TO PERSONAL REINVENTION AND SELF-RENEWAL
The
nature of the eagle makes it a unique bird because it doesn’t
portray itself as what or who he is not. This is a quality of
self-discovery. Has the person discovered the reason for God creating
him/her/? Is the person you’re hoping to date comfortable in
his/her own skin or uncomfortable with who he/she is and would want
to be like someone else? Is the person aware of his/her identity,
heritage, potentials, assignment and destiny?. A lack of sense of
purpose leads to a life very unfulfilling.
Successful
relationships don’t just happen, but they are products of effort
and quality decision-making. Take deliberate actions in a desired
direction.
--- by Nwosu Obichi
