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Tuesday, December 11, 2018

THE CHEMISTRY: SECRETS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT LOVE RELATIONSHIP (LOVE SECRET 3)


People gravitate to those who give them care, attention and respect. Love language is a hearty and pure action mastered by true lovers”
It is generally believed that the foundation of every relationship is good communication. But understanding the need of good communication in a relationship is more important than just professing love to your potential partner. It is expedient you understand that every relationship either thrives or dies based on the communication level between partners. Good communication is very important in building the chemistry of partners and this will help to keep them bonded in their love journey no matter what happens between them. The secret to building the chemistry in your relationship is to discover and effectively communicate the love languages of your partner.

THE SECRET TO BUILDING THE CHEMISTRY IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS TO DISCOVER AND EFFECTIVELY COMMUNICATE THE LOVE LANGUAGES OF YOUR PARTNER

THE MOMENT OF TRUTHS
In customer service, the moment of truths is the instance of contact or interaction between a customer and a firm (through a product, sales force, or visit) that gives the customer an opportunity to form (or change) an impression about the firm. In the same way, many relationships really need to incessantly practice the moment of truths principle. Many partners need it to change the way they see each other so as to help their compatibility in love relationships. They need to also open up on things they like and don’t like about each other. This will go a long way in healing the hurts and building the love they share. The toxic nature of most dating relationships and marriages in the world today is disheartening. The high rate of marital divorces and the breakups of dating relationships are mostly caused by ineffective and lack of love language communication. One of the ways to find the right partner for a relationship is to evaluate how well the person communicates and reciprocates the love you show them. It’s certainly down to finding out the truth about what the person feels for you. Love is more than just words. It is a function of understanding expressed through good actions. In his best-selling book: ‘The Five Love Languages’, Relationship Expert, Dr. Gary Chapman extensively talked about how people can communicate love in different ways. He compares it speaking different languages. The truth is that we all have a primary love language – the native tongue we all grew up speaking, and if we later learn more languages, we all most certainly feel comfortable conversing in our native language. I certainly agree with Dr. Chapmann. In the same vein, when people don’t understand each other’s language, it will be difficult for them to communicate with each other effectively, or even at all. Also, I certainly believe that in the area of love it is quite similar. Your emotional love language and that of your potential date may be different as German is different from French language. If that is the case, then have in mind that matter how hard you both try to express love in your individual love languages to each other, your relationship will not stand the test of time until you both learn, understand and effectively communicate each other’s love language.

THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THE FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES
Dr. Chapmann identified five emotional love languages which are: Words of affirmation, Acts of service, Receiving gifts, Quality time and Physical touch. It is expedient you understand that most people communicate love in just one or two of these ways. It is also important you realize that most people show love in the way they would like to receive it. They may think they are effectively communicating their partner’s love language, but the truth is that they are actually not doing so. You can be and find the right partner for a relationship if you can follow these key points on the love languages:
  1. WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
The basis of this love language is assurance. When someone tells you that he/she loves you, you need to look for the assurance in what the person has said especially if this is your love language. What’s makes it special? How often does the person use reassuring words, kind words, encouraging words and complimentary words in his/her communication with you at all times? Does the person prefer using abusive words, derogatory remarks, words of comparison, and provocative words towards you?. Always have in mind that words are powerful – it can tear down and destroy just as easily as it can build and create. Go for someone who will sweep you off your feet and spoil you silly with genuine words.

THE BASIS OF WORDS OF AFFIRMATION AS A LOVE LANGUAGE IS ALL ABOUT GIVING ASSURANCE TO YOUR PARTNER AND MAKING HIM/HER FEEL VALUED AND WANTED
  1. ACTS OF SERVICE
The basis of this love language is help. How often does the person give you a helping hand in things you do? Acts of service as a love language is a call to responsibility. Helping with the little things you need assistance with is a way of knowing if a person is compatible enough for a dating relationship. If the person can’t help or show up when you need them, how sure are you that they will be there in the happy future that they have promised to create for both of you? Relationship is a two-way street and it takes two people to build it the way they want it to be. It’s a perfect bedding ground for partners to build the spirit of synergy.

ACTS OF SERVICE AS A LOVE LANGUAGE HELPS IN CREATING A PERFECT BEDDING GROUD FOR PARTNERS TO BUILD THE SPIRIT OF SYNERGY

  1. QUALITY TIME
The basis of this love language is undivided attention. If this is your love language, you needed to look out for someone who’s ready to always be with you and gives you his attention. How often is he/she willing to spend time with you interrupted? Does the person find you disturbing than fun to be with? Does the person see no need for both of you to spend time together, but rather sees it as a waste of time. The way a person treats you in this regard reveals much about how they will treat you in the long run.
  1. RECEIVING GIFTS
The basis of this love language is appreciation and thoughtfulness. When gifts are given, this delivers a message from the giver to the receiver. It is just a way of telling you that they have you in their thoughts and on their mind. Also, it shows that the person really value and appreciate having you in his/her life. The gifts do not necessarily need to be expensive and it’s usually very sweet and special when given on memorable dates like birthdays, wedding anniversaries, or even as a surprise package. If this is your love language, then you need to ask yourself how often you receive gifts from your potential partner. Sacrificial giving, and not exploitative giving is a proof of love .Even God gave us His begotten, Jesus Christ to save us from condemnation as a proof of His love for mankind - John 3:16(GNT)
  1. PHYSICAL TOUCH
The basis of this love language is show of affection. For married people, this is demonstrated through acts of romance and sex. But for singles in a God-centered relationship, physical touch could be demonstrated in terms of showing concern for the well-being of your potential partner. How often does he/she call you to know how you’re faring? How interested is he/she with how you go about your daily life and activities. It is often said that people never really care how much you know until they know how much you care.

--- by Nwosu Obichi

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